Newsround

Right, time for a bit of news round up and catching up I think. There’s been a lot happening.Gratuitous gorgeous graphic

When last you left your hero, he was about to embark on the battle against potty training. Guess what? I won. The nappies are back. The potty is still hanging around, but there’s been very little mention of actually using it. Although it’s fun, now and then, for me to ask to use it (most effective when it’s impossible to carry out) and get their little hopes built up. Heh heh. I have to admit, it was pretty cool wearing pants, but it’s the principle of the thing. I will decide when I’m ready to give up my nappies, thank you very much. Do I tell Mummy and Daddy when to go to the toilet? No. Although I do frequently tell them when to get off.

I liked the stickers too. I’m not sure, but I’m starting to suspect that Mummy and Daddy are actually resorting to bribery more and more. This is a good thing. This should not be discouraged. It comes in all forms – stickers, fun stuff, sweets. I’m not fussy. They’re also sneaking a few more rules in, which is not so good. But don’t worry, people, I’m not rolling over for anyone. I am rapidly acquiring a talent for turning a small thing into a huge battle at the most unexpected times, just to keep them on their toes.

What else? Oh, freaky! Mummy’s tummy moves. It has grown to unprecedented proportions, even for Mummy, and now the thing moves. It’s enough to give anyone the willies. Sometimes it just gets higher or lower, but other times she’s just sitting there and it ripples. Like there’s some strange mythical beast trapped in there and trying to get out. Or like the film Alien. They say it’s Baby Sister, and that I’ll see her soon. If that’s the effect she has on people she can just forget it, thank you very much!

Pretty exciting yesterday, speaking of the One Who Is To Come. Mummy had a little trip into hospital – she does seem to go there a lot for some reason, although she does nothing but moan until she leaves. The lady put these straps onto her and plugged her into a machine and we could hear Baby Sister. She didn’t say much but she had a great rhythm going on whatever drum she’s got in there. Actually, I can understand her making Mummy’s tummy move so much if she’s jamming. I can get a bit carried away myself. Just wait till we can play together! The Von Trapps will be nothing to it.

And finally, I so totally rock when it comes to talking. I have the vocabulary of a literary genius and the comic timing of, um, a very funny person. It’s great now, because when I talk, Mummy and Daddy (mostly) understand what I’m saying. I know they were just humouring me before – let’s face it, I was humouring them too – but now we actually have a conversation. I can tell them really cool stuff like what the Very Hungry Caterpillar ate next, and about Roary the Racing Car getting stuck in the mud, and about the books we read at nursery. I copy what they’re saying, and make it so much more entertaining. It’s funny, but when Mummy says “I don’t think so” I’m supposed to take her seriously, but when I say it? They roll around laughing! I obviously have a gift for comedy.

What really gets them going is when I start singing. I did “Wind the Bobbin Up” in the bath tonight and Daddy recorded it on the phone and clapped and everything. I swear, he even filled up. Just a little. And if not, he should have done. My levels of cuteness don’t come easy.

Till next time, folks.

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